disciple of Christ
creative mom, writer and illustrator
Testimony:
I grew up in a strong Christian family, passionate about Jesus. In college, however, I started to feed my intellectual ego. Before long I was seeking and relying on my own understanding, as if I could figure out existence by dabbling in quantuum science studies and psychedelics. I thought I was smarter than my family and the Bible. So I wandered off in my own stubborn will, urged on by the antiGod teaching at my university.
It wasn’t until attempts to divinate my own reality (I thought I could transcend my weak human state and become infinite through psychedelic use and meditation), that I became lost enough to notice my absolute need: I was paranoid, hearing threatening voices; and ended up trapped in a psych ward for around 40 days and nights. In that broken state I became sensitive to the presence of God, and began to hunger and thirst for His redemptive power in my life. I realized that my intelligence would always be puny in contrast to the Wisdom of the One who created everything: the Fountain of all being!
In my renewed pursuit if Him I did not immediately abandon my idolatrous worship of creation, and my understanding of sin was nebulous at best. I met my husband during the wandering time and our son was born. We moved to California and I passionately pursued Christian mysticism. It didn’t feel like enough, however. I discovered the passionate sermons of Voddie Baucham and Paul Washer, and my eyes opened. The depths of the wrath of God against sin became so clear. Sin stinks, so so much. Jesus took it all upon Himself, conquered the power of death through resurrection, so that we can be set free!
For FREEDOM Christ set us free. Stand firm, therefore,
and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery. Galatians 5.1
My heart began to open and really get to know our good Father in Spirit and in truth. As I began to pray with other believers, God showed me His power through physical and mental healing. So much anxiety, anguish and trauma was completely wiped away in prayer with His people.
Last summer I renewed my baptismal vows at my family’s Covenant Church and as they anointed my head, laid hands upon me and prayed, I felt God’s Spirit fill me like never before.
Since then God has been awakening me to see the work He is doing in hearts everywhere, and guiding me to take part in His work, by sharing my testimony and praying with/for anyone I meet. I love gathering with Christ’s body and long to work with His people in spreading the gospel creatively.
I wrote a poem about this experience, When I Meditate Upon Your Presence
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